A hiding place

It's been a rocky week at the Ley house. Just when you think you're getting the hang of this parenting thing, days and nights like the last 48 hours happen. Days and nights that leave a new parent muttering to his or herself, "What am I doing wrong?!" (I can see the experienced parents out there nodding knowingly.) Shannon is stretched to the breaking point, and last night I felt my patience and calm giving way to frustration. So this morning I nonchalantly opened up to Psalm 32 and realized something I've been doing wrong. Something that has nothing to do with the wildly divergent advice one gets on taking care of an infant from books, doctors and friends. First I encountered these words of solid comfort for the Christian, no matter the situation or season of life.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

Here is a psalm that begins by preaching the gospel. But this gospel demands a response. The response it demands we read a bit further down -- acknowledging, uncovering, and confessing the aforementioned transgression/sin/iniquity (note the symmetry). We uncover and then the blood of Christ covers. The alternative -- silence -- results in spiritual and physical malaise (i.e., "my bones wasted away", "my strength was dried up"). I spent some time uncovering and confessing this morning during my morning commute. It dawned on me that I've been so preoccupied with caring for little Samuel, supporting Shannon, and trying to be the best parent I can be (all good things!), that I've neglected praying for him, Shannon and myself. I realized I spent far more time praying for the three of us before he was born than in the 4 weeks since. I think we've both been trying to do this in our own strength, and this week it's catching up with us. That kind of self-reliant, performance-driven parenting doesn't glorify God, and doesn't lend itself to enjoying God or this precious gift he's given us. Thank the Lord for his timely word that instructs us and brings us back to our senses, for we're often like the mule mentioned in verse 9! I'm not promised that the challenges of life will get any easier, but this psalm reminds me that "steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD." Even when I'm ready to tear my hair out...